Go Green or Go Home

Romilda the Recycling Robot June 13, 2013

Filed under: Funny Stuff,Stories — Mary @ 8:51 am
Tags: ,

(Please do not judge me because of this awful writing. It isn’t my fault, I swear! It was written last year at like 6 am and I really wanted to write something about a robot who recycled and so I did but I was doing it as fast as possible. Obviously, working on things as fast as possible do not result in the absolute best product. Let this be a lesson to you: never try to write something at 6 am in the morning after a night of very little sleep in a hurry. Well, since I’m actually posting it somewhere where it will be publicly viewable on the internet, I can be that ashamed of it, right? WRONG! But I’m doing it anyway, just so you can laugh at my awful writing from one year ago. *sigh* So anyway, just don’t judge me, ‘kay?)

Once there was a Robot named Romilda. That in itself wasn’t very unusual, because Romilda was a very common name among the robots. Why would you write a story about an unusual robot with an unusual name, let alone start off the story with that sentence? My answer: NO REASON. Because, you know, Romilda wasn’t a very usual robot.

When you think of a robot, you think of something without a mind, without a heart. Something that follows orders, something made of scrap metal. But there was something different about Romilda. Romilda had a heart. And with her heart, Romilda chose to love the earth.

BUT WAIT!! You say, “IF A ROBOT HAD A HEART, IT WOULD BE HUMAN, NOT ROBOTIC!!” Nuh-uh. Untrue. Robots are always things made of metal. Humans are made of cells, genes, and flesh. Some mad scientist just so happened to insert a heart of steel that actually WORKED (don’t ask me how he got it to work – he died ages ago), and so there: Romilda had a heart.

So Romilda loved recycling, right? She would recycle EVERYTHING, and anything that couldn’t be recycled, she would discover how she could recycle it. She found the melting point of candy wrappers, the way to biodegrate cotton, and loads of other stuff. Didn’t you think that everyone adored recycling? Don’t you think that should have made Romilda famous?

Stupid, really, the way humans think these things. Because humans only like their handiwork, not their handiwork’s handiwork, they totally flushed Romilda’s ideas down the toilet. Like, literally, they flushed them down the toilet. That made Romilda really, really, really angry.

So Romilda decided to take revenge on the entire human race. It wasn’t easy, but she broke free from her creator, using toilet paper and kiwis, and decided to throw empty poison bottles at non-recycling people.

Unfortunately, the bottles became run-off and went into the ocean.

“What have I done?” gasped the robotic Romilda.

“You have killed the ocean,” the mayor of recycling said gravely. “I’m sorry we didn’t believe you, Romilda. We really should have listened.”

Romilda cried and fell to her knees.

“Everyone!” I called. “There is a lesson in this!!”

“What is it?” inquired the mayor.

I looked at him gravely and told him.

Moral of the Story: Never ever don’t believe a recycling robot. Or never ever throw poison bottles at someone. Or at least, never do it close to the ocean. Or, to make it simple, never try to get revenge on the human race. Look where it got the do-dos.



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